All that could have been

The photos on my phone
are not images of people, or places
they are memories of a past
where something could motivate me enough
to take my phone out of my pocket
and point it toward things
because things meant something to me
and I did not want to forget them

The photos on my phone
Let me tell you what they are:

Varun Ramesh and Rishab Lala on a bike
two of my friends
agruing about something
Like they always did
I almost forgot their names today
Thought it was Ramesh Lala

Me and my best friend
On top of a college building
eating vada pav, looking smug.
It was valentine’s day
and we had decided
to celebrate our bromance together

A video of a circuit that I made
(for the electronics project)
Explained in a funny voice
for the benefit of my girlfriend
we lasted for three months
but she was very nice

A gif of my elder brother
playing fifa on his ipad
(wait, how did I take a gif?)
he’s wearing an oversized yellow T-shirt
is completely absorbed in his game.
He looks like a small boy.

My sister-in-law and her nephew
sitting on my bed
which is a mess
talking about something serious
but also smiling a little
they know they're being photographed

A picture of another girl I liked
which I sheepishly took
I had been giving her hints all summer
before giving up
She could have told me if she liked me
Why do boys always have to do everything?

The photos on my phone
are filled with alternate universes
where I’m having fun with people
spending time with family
winning inter-college quizzes;
and yet it has to be this way
me, alone, writing a lousy poem
on all that could have been

The photos on my phone
suck.